So I haven't updated the blog in a while, for a few different reasons, the first week I was just a bit done out and not well the 2nd I was in hospital and this week cause well I've been recovering from hospital, really took a lot out of me.
The first week nothing too much happened, I found out that I now have DLBCL (Diffuse Large B-Cell Lymphoma) a transformed aggressive one, apparently, to be honest I don't think it's that aggressive and is more just a resilient wee bugger to get rid of than they initially thought with plans A and B, and that I will be going in to hospital every 3-4 weeks to receive treatment (R-ESHAP) which is basically a couple of drips constantly from Monday to Friday 24 hours a day. I have been given a PICC line to make things a lot "easier" as it will be going right into a main vein in my body rather than into a smaller one in my arm. The PICC line was a bit uncomfortable to start off with as you could feel it poke into things in my chest and my armpit and even caused a bit of pain at times, I need to get that cleaned each week to prevent infections and making sure it's not blocked. Not allowed to get it wet so I have these bag type things to use in the shower and when I'm getting washed and as I showered each day rather than washing in the sink it has been a bit of a hassle getting a routine that stops it from getting too bad.
The week in hospital went quite well, from Monday to Friday as was planned, no real side effects was sleeping well and everyone in the ward kept themselves to themselves which was great as I just got to do what I wanted to do (watching films and reading, had the Vitta with me but never played it). One thing that did occur was with the amount of fluids I was receiving running to the toilet ever hour and having to measure input and output to make sure it was balanced. A couple of times I was told not to drink as much because my input was nearly 5l in total higher than my output, which caused problems itself with face, ankles, arms and belly swelling and even causing a few breathing problems. But this gradually started to decrease towards the end of the time there, which caused another problem which was with going to the toilet so much I was flushing out needed products and my potassium levels dropped so they kept me in for another couple of days to build that up with an added potassium fluid for another 30 odd hours, but I did get a night of not being hooked up to drips which was surprisingly freeing. Friday night I got moved to another ward as the one I was in was only open Monday to Friday, It was a nightmare, constant beeps because a guy kept pulling his line and blocking it, another guy who was a snorer and just generally noisy and another one who talked, thankfully the talker wasn't too bad and the noisy guy pestered him a lot and made it possible for me to just lie and ignore everyone else.
By Saturday I was starting to feel very rough with the last chemo kicking in that I got on Friday evening, nausea and mostly just feeling like crap, it's hard to explain but think of your worst ever hangover and think of how it would feel after about 3 days, that's probably as close as I can explain it although it's not really like that at all. Most of the week I had been tired, but I did constantly have family up, which was nice, but I spend more time with them when I'm in hospital than I do when I'm in the house with them. It's not really my thing, I like my own company too much. The thought is nice though. More or less all Saturday was spent sleeping and similar with Sunday too and by this stage I had started to develop tinnitus in my ears (caused by the chemo I got on the Friday) It wakes peoples voices go right through me or are just inaudible, a couple people I just can't make out. I don't even bother asking what they said most of the time now as well I dont really care if the weather's supposed to be nice tomorrow, I've got a couple pretty nice coats that would keep me dry if I was to go out anyway.
Sunday I got out and was very weak with sitting around for a whole week and not getting any exercise, the chemo has a big part to play in that as well as it has just drained me completely and staying awake longer than an hour or concentrating on anything for much time is impossible, even worse than what I am normally. It was nice to get home though and have a bit of freedom to do what I want to do and when, which is basically the exact same as what I was doing in hospital but with less interruptions. Taste has also basically gone but think it's more down to the mouthwash I am on to prevent infection than the chemo just yet, but I get cravings for tastes and the one I had when I got out was for KFC skin which we got that night for dinner. Sunday and Monday I slept downstairs close to the toilet because I knew I would still be running back and forward and was having some lucid dreams, never seemed to get into a deep sleep that much but still sleeping the whole night.
Gradually each day I have been getting a little better and a bit more energy and not been as tired as the previous day, Wednesday I was at hospital and because my PICC line had been bleeding they had to clean it and while they were picking off the scab from the line the line came out a couple of centimetres and had to get an X-ray to make sure it was still in place ok which it was. It was nice seeing exactly where all it went around my arm, shoulder and chest, was quite interesting to see and explained why you can feel it poking into places. That night it was very uncomfortable in my armpit and had to take a couple of paracetamol to get to sleep. Everything went well in the hospital, counts were all very good and didnt want to see me unless something was wrong and back up to give bloods and drugs ordered on the 11th to start again on the 14th.
Thursday I was able to get for a while down to Conswater to do a couple of things that I needed done and to get a few things too. It was... a challenge, when buying things my speech was slurred and when I stopped my legs did but my body just seemed to keep moving forward and was quite wrecked afterwards (had a skips craving so got skips, they didn't last long).
Generally each day this week I have been getting better a bit more each day and now I feel probably about 80% but I am not going to push myself to get out for more exercise or fresh air, I'm not going to be taking any chances with infection nor push myself as much as I normally would, I have another week before it all starts over again and hopefully this time I will get out on the Friday or have a bit more of a quiet time at the weekend in hospital than I had.
My sleep pattern has changed a bit too I'm staying up later at night and lying in more in the morning, it makes absolutely no difference to anything except that I keep getting woke up in the mornings. I have spent my time mostly playing on WoW catching up on a lot of things that I haven't been doing over the last year on it and I am thoroughly enjoying it at the moment. I have also started watching 24 and I am half way through season 2 now, didn't like season 1 but season 2 is a bit more enjoyable.
But things are going well I guess, as well as they can be and I'm happy most of the time as long as there's no people involved :D